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What is Polishing Presence:
Awareness Support Groups?
Read more articles and talks by Padme
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That email became the key to the idea for Polishing Presence, Awareness Support Groups. The question of interest for me, is, what is Polishing Presence? I know what it is not. Polishing Presence is not therapy or counseling, where people come to groups to tell their story and be heard. Often people in therapy are learning what their story is, how their family affected them, and how to cope with their emotional wounds. Polishing Presence is for people who already know some of their wounded places. Knowing and coping with their pain, is not enough. They want to go deeper.
For some of us, a main purpose of life is to grow, and we’ve have been working hard on ourselves. We have been reading books about awareness, mindfulness, self-mastery, presence, belief work, and putting what we learn into practice to the best of our ability. In a respectful and constructive environment Sharing the work with others, who care about growing, is a large part of the Polishing Present support group vision. Meeting weekly, in a respectful and constructive environment, relationships can develop that help us deepen our compassionate connections with each other. Who will join Polishing Presence?
We can bring everyday problems to the group
We can explore experiences together. We can find out what beliefs are causing confusion. We can learn from what other people have to say. In the light of questioning the beliefs that keep us suffering, we can grow together, and deepen our understanding. Some examples of personal concerns which may come up are:
Ground Rules Confidentiality first Certain ground rules naturally arise from a group commitment to be respectful and constructive. The opportunity to look within provides space for clarity to develop only when we feel safe enough to be able to speak, and not have what we say repeated to others outside the group. Confidentiality is therefore essential. Quieting down This Polishing Presence work means we are cleaning up, or polishing what’s in the way of presence, or awareness. A mind that is very busy is difficult to tune into. It is helpful to begin quieting the mind before we begin each session. Keeping socializing to a minimum at the outset of each meeting will be useful. Sitting quietly together for at least ten minutes at the beginning of each session will help to quiet our busy day-to-day mind.
Respect means we work together to develop skills in non-violent communication as we go. When we are quiet, listening in an open manner to what others have to say, we can notice our internal responses and be curious about them. If someone says something that causes tightening in the chest or belly, we can notice our response and simply wonder what it was about. We might actually wonder about it occasionally all week, and perhaps bring what we learned to the next meeting. Minimum storytelling Telling our story is useful when it is a brief background of the concern we are bringing to the group. This is not a time to delve into our story, rather it is a time to wonder about our reactivity, and become free of the hold our stories and mistaken beliefs continue to have on our life. Listening deeply We can easily get caught up watching the speaker’s presentation style, internal commenting about physical appearance, the sky, or furniture in the room. Listening to other people speak, we might lower our eyes to help us listen more deeply. Sometimes our senses (sight) distract us from really hearing what another has to say. We can notice our reactivity to what is being said. How easily we agree or disagree, like or dislike what has been said.
When we think of something to add, we can get so lost in our idea, we miss half of what the person says. With eyes lowered, we can notice thoughts arise, without getting attached to them, and return our attention to the speaker. Then when there’s a moment, and we have something to say, it can be our turn to speak, and for others to listen deeply. Role of the Facilitator My basic job is to listen and notice what’s happening in the group, and with individuals. I will remind people about ground rules when necessary. People may address questions directly to anyone in the group, including me. I will add something when appropriate. I will help to keep the focus, and return attention to something someone else has said that might need clarification. Whatever guidance I can offer, will be freely shared within the group. The birth of Polishing Presence
Fundamentally, we will explore how to be with everyday struggles with presence. We will polish up our dust-covered mind/mirror, bit by bit, troublesome speck by troublesome speck. We will listen, look, and grow to understand together, so that each of us can discover the true meaning of Polishing Presence for ourselves. By doing so, we will make Polishing Presence into the vision it is meant to fulfill. Only time will tell how Polishing Presence will turn out. I know I can honestly say I don’t know how this adventure will turn out. And that’s fine with me. I’m just putting it out there to see who steps in. Information about Polishing Presence Schedule and Registration |
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Recently a person on the other end of an email asked me if I knew of any therapy groups that had a spiritual component which includes the work of Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now) and Byron Katie (Loving What Is). Anyone who has worked with me knows that my focus is about awareness, which Tolle calls presence, and my vehicle is usually Katie’s Four Questions.
People who want to be a part of a group of people with similar spiritual leanings. Sometimes we feel lonely with our spiritual work, even when we are clear that this is important work, and we have to do it. It often seems that one person in a couple is ready to go deeper before the other, and the “other” doesn’t get it. 
In November, the five introductory sessions begin our work together. In January, the specific group topics (see link to Polishing Presence information page) will allow members to focus on one aspect of their lives for the session length, if they wish. Whether they notice relationship issues in general, family issues specifically, work issues, or bereavement, the whole group will look deeply, in a focused manner, on a group topic.