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Welcome!
When we are focused on balancing and integrating our
mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual lives, we often find
it helpful to hear from others on the journey. Our deepest questions
may be articulated by others. We may feel less alone, and more
connected to those around us in meaningful ways.
It
is my hope that the words of this occasional letter will touch
your life and heart- that you will see how a life of more awareness
leads to a life of healing the deepest hurts- a life of compassion
for self and others, and a life worth living! You are invited to share your insights, questions, and requests
for future articles.
| In this issue |
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| A Question
of Interest |
Is It Possible To Want Nothing From Others?
I've often been asked whether it's
possible to "want
nothing". It is true we have natural desires for
love, food, comfort, health, family, clothes, etc. This
is part of the human condition and is not a problem when
seen with awareness. The problems arise when the mind
habitually wants people and things to be different than
they are. In relationship with others, painful experiences
are most often caused by unconsciously following desires
to change things we cannot change.
Here's an example:
A few years ago, my family was on a car trip to visit
my in-laws on Cape Cod. It had been several years since
we had been invited, and even though I love Cape Cod,
all I felt was resistance. My step mother-in-law had
a difficult time sharing her kitchen space. We had to
travel with different foods because of our dietary needs.
In the past, I would arrive with my assorted staples,
put them in a corner of the kitchen counter and she would
stay out of the kitchen as much as possible. I had the
sense that as soon as we arrived, my father-in-law would
take over cooking because she was so upset by the disruption.
An In-Law Story
This time as we drove over the bridge,
onto the Cape, two words appeared in my mind, "Want nothing." "Hmm,
I thought, that's interesting." The words repeated
several times. I had had these" word experiences" before,
and although I don't know their origin, I always have
had a sense of their truth.
I reflected on the meaning of the words and saw how
much I wanted my in-laws to be different. I noticed I
wanted a lot from them. I wanted to be welcomed. I wanted
them to ask about my life. I wanted them to care about
me and show it in a way I would choose.
"Want nothing? Hmmmm." I
realized they didn't give me what I want. In fact,
the more I wanted them to behave in particular ways,
the more uncomfortable and unhappy I became. They didn't
even notice anything amiss, while I had just gotten
more and more unhappy and withdrawn in the past.
The Ah Ha!
So, here was another possibility.
Want nothing. I decided to notice when I wanted anything
from them and not "feed" the
feeling. It worked!
All the awareness I had brought
to "wanting nothing" began
to dissipate much of my resistance before we even arrived.
It was the first of many lovely visits. I still need
to remind myself before we visit them. Our foods are
still different, but our presence is more welcome, even
in the kitchen. They still don't ask about my life. Neither
of them can listen to anything I have to say for more
than a couple of minutes before losing their attention.
And they've never remembered my birthday.
I know I'll be mostly listening when we visit, and that's
fine now. Wanting nothing, I feel open to what Is, and
I receive all that Is. I receive everything!
So, is it possible to "want nothing from others?' >From
my experience it is. You'll need to find out for yourself.
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| Fresh Perspectives |
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Wanting
Nothing, Receiving Everything!
The Golden Rule
Here's another perspective of The Golden Rule. Be unto
others as you would like them to Be unto you, especially
when they aren't being loving! Each of us is 100% responsible
for our reactions to how we are being treated. We want
people to express themselves in a loving way. Actually,
this want is quite natural, because we all want to be
happy and it's much easier to be happy when people are
kind. (That Golden Rule again!) We want to be treated
with respect, consideration and kindness.
Feeling Hurt by Another?
When people are unable to be loving,
we often feel hurt. We call this "being hurt" by "someone
else". This "hurt" can be a physical sensation
of pain in the body. James Redfield, in The Celestine
Prophecy, explained that this experience is caused by
the angry or confused person's neediness. Their wanting
to be heard and understood and healed by another, is
actually an energy suck. It's something that happens,
even though many of us don't feel it. It's as if the
other person has turned on their vacuum cleaner, wanting
us to fill their sense of emptiness. And we are doing
the same thing when we treat others poorly.
The Body's Role
First, there's the experience of
someone being unkind. The "negative energy" is
directed towards us, and experienced by the body initially.
We may feel tightening in the chest area, shoulders,
or belly. We may also feel nauseous, a headache, or
dizziness.
When we are able to be fully present
with whatever's happening, the body's experience is
fully embraced in awareness. There's nothing more to "do".
Please don't just take my word for all this. Be curious
for yourself!
Finish reading this article
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| Helping the
Body Heal |
What you can do for yourself when you feel physically
out-of-balance with pain and injury, or any physical dis-ease.
Welcome to this new addition to our newsletter!
This section of The Open Letter provides helpful information
for those who are curious about how they can help the
body heal on a daily basis and in acute situations.
What We Can Do For Ourselves
Usually, when we are hurting, we
want to feel better. We seek help outside ourselves.
We want others to "fix" us.
We want to take a quick pill to make the pain go away,
or we deny anything is out- of-balance.
This inner healing work does not mean we ignore the
potential gifts of other healers (and occasional pills),
including doctors, Qi Gong healers, herbalists, acupuncturists,
Ayurvedic healers, chiropractors, massage therapists,
etc. It simply means taking more responsibility for what
we can do for ourselves on a deeply personal level. The
body craves loving attention, especially when things
are out-of-balance. And there is much we can do directly,
creatively, compassionately, even quickly and easily,
right here!
Future Issues
Each issue will explore different aspects of how the
body/mind can work together for a healing response. The
physical brain does not discriminate between fact and
fiction. It records information as a computer does, without
filtering false from true. We use this fact to our benefit
when we are working with the body to help it heal.
Information about the following areas will be offered
in future issues:
1.Simple visualization and breathing exercises involving
the innate ability of the mind to assist in healing.
2.Information which has proven helpful through experience,
as a healer, and as a person in need of healing.
3.Stories to inform, encourage, and inspire creativity
and compassion on our healing journey.
The Gifts You'll Receive
As we help the body heal, we have more energy, clarity,
and compassion to share with others. We feel better and
desire more clarity, honesty, and compassion. We have
more energy to pursue these healthy desires.
May this new section of The Open Letter prove useful
on your healing journey!
A Note about My Qi Gong Healing Practice
In my Medical Qi Gong practice, I offer more than eighteen
years experience helping bodies heal. Please find out
more about my practice, by clicking the link in this
section.
Find out about Medical Qi Gong
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| Suggestion
Box |
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 Useful Tools When You Need Them
These practices are useful when we are stuck in confusion
and pain. They help us experience an alternative way of being
with our pain, and help us directly encounter what is in
the way of finding more honesty, joy, balance and freedom.
As with all tools, please remember to let go of them when
they no longer serve a purpose.
Using Your Imagination to Create Change
If you think you can't do it,
feel the feeling,
pretend you can,
and do it anyway!
A young friend of mine shared her difficulty with her father.
He has been overly controlling and she feels he doesn't trust
her. During one of our talks, she mentioned how everything
goes better when she wants nothing from him.
This "wanting nothing" offers us many wonderful opportunities!
Usually, we live our life unconsciously wanting people to
be different. We want them to be more kind, compassionate,
and unconditionally loving. We want them to be seen as we
want to be seen. We want them to treat us well, so we can
feel good. And when they are unable to give us what we want
(for whatever reasons), we get upset and let their " bad" feelings
ruin our time- day, week, or years, and sometimes we blame
them for ruining the rest of our life!
Growing Compassion Meditation
Find a quiet space, and sit down with paper, pen (and something
to write on). Make yourself comfortable.
1. Allow a person to come to mind who seems to create messy,
painful feelings in you.
2. Think about what might have caused that person to behave
in ways upsetting for you. Allow an image of what their family
life may be like now, or what his or her family may have
been like growing up. Refrain from adding judgments. Just
imagine what might have created their confused, often angry
behaviors.
3. Write an unedited list of at least 5 things you have
been wanting from this person. (To be nice, to listen to
me, to be happy, to stop arguing, etc) It's important to
be honest. This list is for your eyes only.
4. Imagine being with that person and not wanting anything
from them. Just imagine what that would be like for you,
and take note of the feelings which arise from this "not
wanting".
5. Next time you expect to be with that person, prepare
yourself. Remember "not wanting," and see what happens for
you. Notice, in the body, any shifts when you are "not wanting" and
notice when you get caught up in "wanting" again.
6. Be patient. Learning new ways of being takes practice.
Keep practicing "not wanting" with difficult situations and
easier ones. Notice what happens.
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| An Invitation |
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Please
Spread These Words
Offering
others the opportunity to connect
expands our community! Please
consider forwarding this issue,
with a personal note, to anyone
on your email list you feel
would be interested in it.
Fall
Classes.
Join
Nina for any or all of her
remaining Fall classes. We
will find a personal meaning
for Healing with Awareness,
and experience forgiveness,
compassion and meditation together.There's
still room available in the
classes being offered at Mystic
Moon on Park Ave. and Meigs
St. OnThursday, November 11,
classes start in Spencerport
at The Dove Gift Shop and Reiki
Healing Center.
Go
to the link at the bottom of
this section for class descriptions,
evening class times and fees
for classes.
Meditation
CDs
If
you haven't explored Nina's
meditation CDs, you can read
about them, listen to audio
samples, and buy them at www.healingwithawareness.com/cds.htm.
Group
Awareness Meditation
Monday
evening meditation and discussion
sessions continue at Nina's
home in Penfield. The group
is small. Donations only. Beginners
are always welcome. Call or
email for more info.
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