• A Question of Interest
• Fresh Perspectives
• Helping the Body Heal
• Suggestion Box
• An Invitation

Is It Possible To Want Nothing From Others?

I've often been asked whether it's possible to "want nothing". It is true we have natural desires for love, food, comfort, health, family, clothes, etc. This is part of the human condition and is not a problem when seen with awareness. The problems arise when the mind habitually wants people and things to be different than they are. In relationship with others, painful experiences are most often caused by unconsciously following desires to change things we cannot change.

Here's an example:

A few years ago, my family was on a car trip to visit my in-laws on Cape Cod. It had been several years since we had been invited, and even though I love Cape Cod, all I felt was resistance. My step mother-in-law had a difficult time sharing her kitchen space. We had to travel with different foods because of our dietary needs. In the past, I would arrive with my assorted staples, put them in a corner of the kitchen counter and she would stay out of the kitchen as much as possible. I had the sense that as soon as we arrived, my father-in-law would take over cooking because she was so upset by the disruption.

An In-Law Story

This time as we drove over the bridge, onto the Cape, two words appeared in my mind, "Want nothing." "Hmm, I thought, that's interesting." The words repeated several times. I had had these" word experiences" before, and although I don't know their origin, I always have had a sense of their truth.

I reflected on the meaning of the words and saw how much I wanted my in-laws to be different. I noticed I wanted a lot from them. I wanted to be welcomed. I wanted them to ask about my life. I wanted them to care about me and show it in a way I would choose.

"Want nothing? Hmmmm." I realized they didn't give me what I want. In fact, the more I wanted them to behave in particular ways, the more uncomfortable and unhappy I became. They didn't even notice anything amiss, while I had just gotten more and more unhappy and withdrawn in the past.

The Ah Ha!

So, here was another possibility. Want nothing. I decided to notice when I wanted anything from them and not "feed" the feeling. It worked!

All the awareness I had brought to "wanting nothing" began to dissipate much of my resistance before we even arrived. It was the first of many lovely visits. I still need to remind myself before we visit them. Our foods are still different, but our presence is more welcome, even in the kitchen. They still don't ask about my life. Neither of them can listen to anything I have to say for more than a couple of minutes before losing their attention. And they've never remembered my birthday.

I know I'll be mostly listening when we visit, and that's fine now. Wanting nothing, I feel open to what Is, and I receive all that Is. I receive everything!

So, is it possible to "want nothing from others?' >From my experience it is. You'll need to find out for yourself.

Wanting Nothing, Receiving Everything!

The Golden Rule

Here's another perspective of The Golden Rule. Be unto others as you would like them to Be unto you, especially when they aren't being loving! Each of us is 100% responsible for our reactions to how we are being treated. We want people to express themselves in a loving way. Actually, this want is quite natural, because we all want to be happy and it's much easier to be happy when people are kind. (That Golden Rule again!) We want to be treated with respect, consideration and kindness.

Feeling Hurt by Another?

When people are unable to be loving, we often feel hurt. We call this "being hurt" by "someone else". This "hurt" can be a physical sensation of pain in the body. James Redfield, in The Celestine Prophecy, explained that this experience is caused by the angry or confused person's neediness. Their wanting to be heard and understood and healed by another, is actually an energy suck. It's something that happens, even though many of us don't feel it. It's as if the other person has turned on their vacuum cleaner, wanting us to fill their sense of emptiness. And we are doing the same thing when we treat others poorly.

The Body's Role

First, there's the experience of someone being unkind. The "negative energy" is directed towards us, and experienced by the body initially. We may feel tightening in the chest area, shoulders, or belly. We may also feel nauseous, a headache, or dizziness.

When we are able to be fully present with whatever's happening, the body's experience is fully embraced in awareness. There's nothing more to "do".

Please don't just take my word for all this. Be curious for yourself!

Finish reading this article

Welcome to this new addition to our newsletter!

This section of The Open Letter provides helpful information for those who are curious about how they can help the body heal on a daily basis and in acute situations.

What We Can Do For Ourselves

Usually, when we are hurting, we want to feel better. We seek help outside ourselves. We want others to "fix" us. We want to take a quick pill to make the pain go away, or we deny anything is out- of-balance.

This inner healing work does not mean we ignore the potential gifts of other healers (and occasional pills), including doctors, Qi Gong healers, herbalists, acupuncturists, Ayurvedic healers, chiropractors, massage therapists, etc. It simply means taking more responsibility for what we can do for ourselves on a deeply personal level. The body craves loving attention, especially when things are out-of-balance. And there is much we can do directly, creatively, compassionately, even quickly and easily, right here!

Future Issues

Each issue will explore different aspects of how the body/mind can work together for a healing response. The physical brain does not discriminate between fact and fiction. It records information as a computer does, without filtering false from true. We use this fact to our benefit when we are working with the body to help it heal.

Information about the following areas will be offered in future issues:

1.Simple visualization and breathing exercises involving the innate ability of the mind to assist in healing.

2.Information which has proven helpful through experience, as a healer, and as a person in need of healing.

3.Stories to inform, encourage, and inspire creativity and compassion on our healing journey.

The Gifts You'll Receive

As we help the body heal, we have more energy, clarity, and compassion to share with others. We feel better and desire more clarity, honesty, and compassion. We have more energy to pursue these healthy desires.

May this new section of The Open Letter prove useful on your healing journey!

A Note about My Qi Gong Healing Practice

In my Medical Qi Gong practice, I offer more than eighteen years experience helping bodies heal. Please find out more about my practice, by clicking the link in this section.

Find out about Medical Qi Gong

Please Spread These Words

Offering others the opportunity to connect expands our community! Please consider forwarding this issue, with a personal note, to anyone on your email list you feel would be interested in it.

Join Nina for any or all of her remaining Fall classes. We will find a personal meaning for Healing with Awareness, and experience forgiveness, compassion and meditation together.There's still room available in the classes being offered at Mystic Moon on Park Ave. and Meigs St. OnThursday, November 11, classes start in Spencerport at The Dove Gift Shop and Reiki Healing Center.

Go to the link at the bottom of this section for class descriptions, evening class times and fees for classes.

If you haven't explored Nina's meditation CDs, you can read about them, listen to audio samples, and buy them at www.healingwithawareness.com/cds.htm.

Monday evening meditation and discussion sessions continue at Nina's home in Penfield. The group is small. Donations only. Beginners are always welcome. Call or email for more info.